On Depression

I was sitting here thinking of the coming few days, things I have to do, things that loom in front of me, things that are wrong, things I will have to face, feeling depressed. And I thought of a few things that cheered me up:

I don't have to get everything perfectly. The input and output of my life is not perfect and doesn't have to be. I don't have to brush my teeth perfectly or even have the perfect argument. I sometimes watch people do things and wonder how they can do them so hapharzdly and just surrender and not worry about what will happen. Like when I see people brush their teeth in movies....it is just so much less OCD than the way I brush my teeth. Sometimes they don't even rinse out with water. And I guess a little toothpaste won't kill you.

And then the other thing i thought is that when I feel like EVERYTHING is wrong and bad, then it means I am depressed. And so that doesn't mean that all those things aren't wrong and couldn't use fixing, but it means that I am disproportionately thinking of the bad. There's a lot of good that I need to remember.

This sentence isn't prefect,

Bamboozled

Today's theme is that I was bamboozled by some very loving, caring friends into taking a quiz...lol...here it is..so today's theme is: take a quiz.

Random Survey...

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same)
Cheek bones
Legs
Smile

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
Kyan
Ky
Mr. Bojangles, Smuckers, there's one more i can't put my finger on.....


THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
mjolkcaka
swingerofbirches
krmull

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
Best sense of humor
Taste in music
Intuitive


THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
(this actually took me a long time to think of believe it or not…lol)
I don’t have enough urgency
Ummm….
I take things too personally
I think too much sometimes


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
Swedish
Irish
Scottish


THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
Having to define myself, or ever being defined
Growing up
Death

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
Milk
Chocolate
Rags

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
C-IN 2 underwear
An old navy visor
Earplugs
(that’s all..lol..oh and glasses)


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS (at the moment)
Gloria (NOT Gloria estefan, although she is good too)
David Bowie
Velvet Underground

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment)
"Since U Been Gone” Kelly Clarkson (guilty pleasure)
"Another Lonely Day” Ben Harper
"Honey and the Moon” Joseph Arthur

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
William and Mary….again : )
building an outdoor shower
learning final cut pro and motion (video editing)


THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
Transparency
A second person
Ummmm…..good times 


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
I peed in my pants in the first grade
I am having trouble thinking of something to write
I am not having trouble thinking of something to write

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES

3 *OF* my hobbies, implying I have more than 3? !?! I don’t even think I have one.

I like to write. Does that count?


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
Experience catharsis
Meet the dali Lama
Run for miles and miles as if it were easy

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
Early retirement
Socialite
I really have no clue as you can see!


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
Iceland
Sweden
France


THREE KIDS' NAMES
You know I shouldn’t be a father when I am so selfish that I wouldn’t give them the names I really like because I would always be jealous of them having nicer names than me. I like boy names like Joshua, Andreas, Lucas, Marcus, Matthew, Jonas.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
Not be afraid of death
Lead an independent happy life
Find someone to share my life with


THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK...er DOOD
I am a good driver
I like wearing my hair short
I like wearing pants?
Lol……..

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW

The people who are reading this have already taken this quiz, unless YOU, dear deer in the headlights are some random person, not by the name of Grams or Ames who stumbled across my blog, then by all means take it, and send me your link.

Remove Mental Cltuter to Focus on Goals

This was what I was thinking of yesterday but am posting it today.

I guess at the end of the day I was a bit exasperated thinking of tons of little problems. And I realized that none of those small problems were really real problems. They seemed so hopeless, and in a way they are, because they are problems that don't exist beyond my mind, and so no tangible solutions exist.

The hardest knock to get is realizing that there are really only one or two key "real" problems that I want to work toward overcoming. And all the other little ones in a way are excuses toward not getting over the main ones.

When i realease the small problems that I think I need to control, I remember that life itself is capable of taking care of those nagging details. And I remembered a saying, don't know where I heard it: will THIS matter in a month? Say it often and listen.

Making a life

Today I thought about life. I thought about where I want to go and be. And I remember that no sibling, parent, friend, doctor, or teacher will ever live my life. I thought about the idea of buying a house one day. And I thought I am too young to save for a house. But then I thought, when it does come to the day I am ready to buy a house, will I say, I am owed all the money I dwindled at 22 because I wasn't supposed to be saving for a house then? No one will give me back the money I dwindle today. And I can't think of anything better to own than a house. A house is much better than the stupid clothes or chocolate I thought about buying myself online. So here's to building your own life. And a special thanks to a special friend and my most loyal reader, perhaps my only reader, who demanded that Today's Theme come back today.

I'm not living your life: are you?